Willowdale Women

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In the Weeds

I was recently involved in a community service project that involved clearing an overgrown part of a backyard. It looked like an impossible task, but I gamely put on my gloves and went to work. As I got started I realized how easy it was to pull off the top of the weeds. And aesthetically that looked pretty nice. You couldn’t really tell that the root was still there. It was a little bumpy, but overall, it would have been easy to dust the dirt off my hands and say, “Good enough.”

But if you’ve ever done any gardening, you know you need to yank the root of the weed out or it will grow back. And that part was hard. I was soon sweaty, dirty and my ‘office work’ soft hands were showing signs of blisters. While pulling several of the bigger roots out I actually ended up on my bottom…with the root still firmly in the ground. A few were so deep and stubborn they needed tools to help dig them out. And just when I thought we were done, someone would point out another section that needed more work.

As I fought with those weeds I reflected on my life. It is so easy for me to present myself as one thing, but inwardly be a mess. To the outside I can appear ‘weeded’ when inside the roots of sin are running deep. I can easily smile, serve and seem spiritually mature …and I can easily believe this outward portrayal as truth, because, well, it’s easier than looking inside and seeing all the inner work I need to do. Dealing with the ugliness of my heart is hard and uprooting the selfishness, jealousy, comparison and wrong motivations that have made a home inside is not easy. 

During this time, I remembered what Jesus had to say to the Pharisees, whose outward appearance was not reflected on the inside. I realized those were words I needed to hear as well.

Matthew 23: 25-28 “Woe to you scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and plate, that the outside might be clean.  

Woe to you scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness. So you outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.”

Oh, those Pharisees! It’s easy for us to vilify them. But oh, how often I am more like them than like Jesus. How often I am more worried about transforming my outward appearance as opposed to transforming into God’s image, from one degree of glory to another (2 Corinthians 3:18).

And for some reason, when we neglect to clean out the ‘dead people’s bones’ (sin) from the tomb (inside us), it makes us hypercritical and judgmental of those around us. We might not show this outwardly, but inwardly our thoughts are full of pointing fingers (like the Pharisees did at Jesus), casting blame and making a ‘me vs. them’ division in the sand. This is easier for us to see than our own inner sin. Jesus addresses this too:  

Luke 6:41-42 “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log in that is in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother’s eye.”

Before we go around and try to ‘help’ people see the error of their ways, we need to ‘help’ ourselves. Just like in clearing that overgrowth, it’s hard work….and sometimes we end up on our bottoms. We need the tools of prayer, scripture reading and memorization, journaling and solitude to really get to the root of some of our struggles and sin.  

It’s important to remember that we all sin. This is not something new. We might be surprised by the depth and ugliness of our sin, but God isn’t.  

Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

And once, through the power of the Holy Spirit, we identify the sin in our lives, God isn’t interested in our good works to fix the problem.  

Psalm 51:16-17 “For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.”

Nor does he want to sit in condemnation and shame. He desires for us to confess and is waiting ready to forgive us.  

I John 1:7-9 “...The blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

And once we’ve come before the throne of God, confessed and received forgiveness, we are called to walk forward in freedom.

Galatians 5:1 “For freedom Christ has set us free, stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” 

For me, one of the hardest parts of this process is not “submitting again to the yoke of slavery.” Some roots run deep and habits are hard to break. So it’s definitely an ongoing refinement, not a ‘one and done,’ at least not for me. But I’ve noticed that once, through Christ’s strength, I’ve identified the root it becomes easier to recognize and I am quicker to seek forgiveness and turn from that behavior.  

One other thing: It’s also crucial to have other people in our lives to point us to where more work needs to be done. We must work together towards the end goal of having our inner being accurately reflected outwardly.  

I debated about whether this topic was too heavy, given all that’s gone on in our world this week. But I was convicted that left, moderate or right, Republican, Democrat or somewhere in between, we all need to hear this in order to live in better unity with one another. This unity cannot happen if we are quick to portray ourselves as ‘better than’ while also pointing out others’ faults.

I encourage all of us to take some time for inner examination of our hearts. What roots of sin have taken hold? What weeds are overgrown and running rampant in your life? What do you need to be intentional about uprooting? Who do you need in your life to help you do this? Are there people you need to forgive or from whom you need to ask forgiveness?

Start looking inward and upward instead of around you. I have to remind myself, it doesn’t start with ‘them.’ It starts with me.

 

ABOUT OUR BLOGGER  

Danielle (Dani) Rupp grew up in a small town in Ohio and is a true Buckeye fan, though she tries not to be obnoxious about it. In 2011 she came to Pennsylvania to earn her Master of Social Work degree. Dani returned earlier in the year from South Asia, where she volunteered with International Justice Mission, learned to tolerate spicy food and cross the roads without being hit.

 

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