Where Does Your Heart Dwell?

I don’t know about you, but I am so busy. Too busy.

When I take the time to actually sit down, reflect on my heart and stare into the depths of my soul, I realize I am in an unexpected season. My job is more demanding than I’d like, sometimes leaving me drained at day’s end. My girls are growing more independent, leaving me desiring deeper connection. Then there’s the babies for which I have achingly longed for nine years. After two tough miscarriages this year, I’m healing. And waiting. And trusting.

But waiting is hard. And trusting God can be even harder.

In the midst of living out life when it is different than expected, I’ve realized many avenues are open for responding. One would be to grow angry and court bitterness. Another could be to resign dreams and become apathetic. Denial is always an option. But, I must tell you I know all those roads lead deeper into the pain being experienced. We are not designed to remain in a state of disappointment. Trials are real. Suffering is everywhere we turn. And due to the fall, these experiences in our lives are most likely inevitable. But what if God uses that same suffering to reveal Himself to us? What if we were to take our trials and lay them at His feet and pour out our praise despite our circumstance? What a fragrant offering that would be.

John Piper, a modern theologian, reminds us to, “Rejoice in tribulation, for tribulation works patience, and patience works a provenness, and a provenness works hope, and hope will not put us to shame because the love of God is poured out in our heart.”

I had a recent experience of deep loss when I learned we had lost our second twin at 17 weeks into the pregnancy. My immediate response was, “Lord, I praise you anyway,” as tears poured down my face. For me, it was a new reaction to a familiar loss. Usually, my anger would ignite and a deepening grudge would take hold. But this time, God had readied me differently. Weeks prior, I had spent time deep in the word of God with a group of ladies. Studying David and his life was actually preparing me for battle and teaching me how to respond when life took a sharp turn. God met me ever so faithfully. He put scripture in my heart and praise on my lips, when I least expected it.

No one knows disappointment, pain or suffering like our Jesus. No one can meet you in the pit of pain and extend such depths of comfort. He pours out His Spirit as a balm. He promises His faithfulness. And He never fails.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

Just ask Him. Extend your hands, open your heart and invite the Author of your life to take over every aspect of who you are. Ask Him to fill in the hole where suffering and disappointment dwell.



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