I recently had a job performance evaluation. Categories were “Exceeds Expectations,” “Meets Expectations” and “Below Expectations.”
These boxes are pretty black and white. Easily defined. And our expectations tend to be that way. Without even realizing it, we rate others, ourselves, our experiences and even God by these standards.
Before I left for South Asia to do mission work, I tried to not have any expectations but knew that in my humanness it would be impossible to suppress all of them. I was anxious about what life would be, having unmet expectations and ultimately disappointment. I had a friend who encouraged me to look forward to my time there with expectancy. I really liked that. It took the pressure off. Changing my mindset to one of expectancy helped me acknowledge that there would be changes and challenges but to keep an open mind as to what those would be. It helped me to look with excitement at what God would do during my time there.
I realized expectations limit what God can do to three categories. When God exceeds my expectations I am excited and sometimes surprised. When He meets my expectations, I am grateful but almost feel entitled to that. When I perceive God has not even tried to meet my expectations, I am disappointed and discouraged. Expectancy, however, opens up a whole realm of ways God can move and work. We no longer box Him with our limited resources and minds. We don’t know how or when but can have faith and trust that He will fulfill his promises.
As we enter the Christmas season I have been reflecting on expectations surrounding Jesus’ birth. I’m sure Mary didn’t expect to become pregnant by Immaculate Conception and give birth to the Messiah. The Bible states how she so humbly took on this responsibility. (I think I would have been a little more resistant -- having difficulty letting go of my expectations of what teenage and newly married life would look like!) Joseph could not have imagined he would be marrying a pregnant virgin and be the father to the Son of God. He struggled a little bit with that whole idea but was ultimately obedient. Mary and Joseph were able to move past their expectations and move toward expectancy of what was to come. The shepherds didn’t think they were important enough to welcome the Savior into the world, let alone be invited by a host of angels. But they didn’t let these expectations stop them and went with boldness to worship Him. And surely no one thought the prophesied King of Kings would enter the world as a tiny, helpless baby. “Come, Thou Long Expected, Jesus.” Well, he came, but not in the way anyone expected.
Everyone falls into the trap of expectations, and I wonder how much our attitudes would change if we instead focused on joyful expectancy.
Tim and Kathy Keller sum this up well. (Taken from The Songs Of Jesus: A Year of Daily Devotions in the Psalms, reflections on Psalm 89:38-52 August 8 and 9)
“Many who welcomed Jesus as Messiah also had their expectations disappointed when he failed to take power…Learn that God always fulfills his promises but does so at a level of greater complexity than we can easily discern. Pray your disappointments but leave them with God. Remember, you just can’t see. And when he answers us, it will be far better and more astonishing than anything we could have asked for.”
Reflecting on expectancy, the Christmas story and Tim and Kathy Keller’s words have been especially helpful since I recently moved back from South Asia to the United States. This transition has had its moments of struggle. I’m trying to find my place again -- with family, friends, work and within this culture. Things I expect to be hard sometimes aren’t and vice versa.
On a larger scale, this isn’t where I expected to be in life. By now I expected to be married with several children. I never expected to be 34, moving home from South Asia, rebuilding my life, my finances and my career. I find myself unsure of what the future holds or even what to expect. This can easily cause of worry and disappointment.
And I have grieved and prayed about the disappointments of what I thought my life would be like. But even in those moments of sadness, I realize that if I had my life go according to my expectations, I would have missed out on so many things. And each time I’m not sure where to go or what to expect next, God fills it in so seamlessly, so much better than my man-made plans or expectations. I am learning that God’s big plan is so much bigger and greater than I can fathom. If I limit myself to my own expectations, I limit Him as well. But when I look to God with expectancy that He will work and trust Him with the details, my worry and disappointment are replaced with anticipation. I sit and watch Him orchestrate something that is beyond my wildest imagination. I pray each day that God will give me the strength so that I can joyfully extend empty hands to Him, void of expectations. Instead, trusting expectantly for Him to fill them with what is best for me -- with good gifts from the Father given in His perfect time.
I don’t know what that looks like for you. Maybe it means stepping out in faith and doing something you never thought you could or would do. Maybe it’s removing expectations from others and entrusting that person to God. Maybe it’s going to that family Christmas with an open mind instead of the expectation that it will be horrible.
Whatever it may be, I hope all of us enter into Christmas and the new year with joyful expectancy, having faith that God is working and leaving the details up to Him.
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Jesus Christ throughout all generations forever and ever.” Ephesians 3:20-21
CHRISTMAS EVE SERVICES
We invite you to join us for our Christmas Eve Services.
KENNETT CAMPUS
DECEMBER 23, 6:00 p.m.
DECEMBER 24, 2:00 p.m. | 4:00 p.m. | 6:00 p.m.
*Childcare for children aged birth through Pre-K is available during all services.
JENNERSVILLE CAMPUS
DECEMBER 24, 4:00 p.m.
Lincoln University’s International Cultural Center
1570 Baltimore Pike
Lincoln University, PA 19352