Growing up in a Puerto Rican household I could count on several things to happen when family came to visit. There would be a lot of food, it would be loud, and the women would inevitably end up gathered together, aware of, and in tuned to, only each other. I found my mom and aunts fascinating. Their conversations would flow from English to Spanish back to English effortlessly, sometimes comprised of laughter, sometimes tears, sometimes looks I knew not to interrupt. Often all of the above.
My mom and aunts modeled vulnerability before Brené Brown defined it for us! I witnessed genuine sisterhood as they showed support, gave advice, and spoke the truth in love. They modeled Jesus as they welcomed each other just as they were, listened without condemnation and lifted each other up. Each leaving a better version of themselves, then when they arrived. Their vulnerability, guidance and sharing of “lessons learned” poured out over us “kids” as well. My aunts disciplined me, cheered me on, shared treasured words of wisdom and did not miss any of my milestone events. They showed up for me and made themselves accessible in any way I needed them to be. I am grateful to my mom for how fiercely she mothered me and that she allowed my aunts to mother me too.
In every season of my life, I have tried to recreate this model of friendship. I have not always done it perfectly, but I have strived to create meaningful relationships. Hoping to impact my friend’s lives for the better and allowing them to do the same in mine.
I think the greatest and most beneficial thing I took away from my experience growing up focused on our need to grow and learn from women in all stages of life. We see this modeled so beautifully in the book of Ruth. The relationship between Naomi and Ruth could have turned out so differently after disaster and death touched their family. Yet, Ruth opted not to desert her mother-in-law but stay and ride out the storm by her side. Ruth’s poignant words “…For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God,” capture the heart of what Jesus desires for us in relationship with Him and those we love. I pray each of you know this kind of devotion and receive it from others. Ruth’s gesture leads to deep connection between the two women and opens the door for Naomi, who thought she had nothing left to give or offer, to help Ruth redeem both of their lives and so much more – the bloodline of Jesus.
I think of the women who go before me and the women coming up behind me who have touched my heart. How grateful I am for those a season or two ahead of me, who have generously shared their experiences. How that has led to a strong desire in my heart to do the same, for the beautiful women God has placed in my life a season or two behind me. The joy this fellowship brings is priceless. Speaking life and truth into my 18-year-old niece, praying with my fellow mama friends as we navigate all the things, pouring encouragement and unconditional support into the small “tribe” of women I do life with, sharing Jesus with the women I Bible Study with … I imagine in these moments, a sweet-smelling aroma rising to heaven, pleasing to the Lord we all seek to glorify.
It saddens me to realize that some women have never known this kind of relationship with other women. The kind that asks for nothing in return, where comparison does not exist, where lifting up and speaking life into each other are the main objectives, where the line between friendship and family falls away. We all desire it, but more than that, we all need it. In a time when social media continues to make us believe that interactions stemming from behind a screen are enough, we need to be intentional with our relationships. In a time marked with so much uncertainty, unrest, and hate, we need women to hold us accountable and speak God’s truth to us when we forget.
If you do desire this kind of community but do not know where to begin, women’s small groups are forming right now at Willowdale Chapel. I gently challenge you to sign up, show up, be vulnerable and trust the Holy Spirit to lead you. I am so thankful I took this first step nine years ago. I tell you with all sincerity that it changed my life and I trust that it can change yours too.
Check out women’s group for this fall: CLICK HERE
ABOUT OUR BLOGGER
An eternal optimist, Melanie Wilson is on board for anything that involves books, sunflowers, coffee, the WVU Mountaineers, Bible Study and laughter. She recently obtained a Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and pinches herself every day that her passion is now her profession. Melanie and her husband, Jim, love their front row seats cheering on their daughter, spending time with family and friends and binge-watching football on crisp fall weekends.
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HIGH PLACES YOGA OUTDOOR RETREAT
High Places Yoga invites you to our Women’s Outdoor Candlelight Retreat on September 19. For details and registration, click here.