Trauma and tragedy. Often the only way to make sense of them is from the “after” vantage point. Does God direct all traumatic and terrible things to work together for our good and His glory? Does God allow or cause these things to happen to us so that His plans might be fulfilled? Sometimes we can see the point of what seems like pointless pain and suffering while we’re here in the land of the living. But more frequently, we can’t. And that, my friend, is when we need to trust. Trust that He is working it all together for our good and His glory. Trust that He is turning our ashes into beauty.
I often think of Luke 22:31-32 which came to me on a day during which I could not fathom holding any more grief, loss or trauma. I had driven to a hotel on a Friday night to stay with my parents before the second of what would become six family funerals in as many months. The four months prior to this funeral included a complete upheaval in my family’s life, including staying with various friends and relatives while our belongings lived in storage and my car. After this funeral we’d be moving into a different home but, though we tried, we could not really escape all of the grief and abuse that had led us there. There would be no respite. I collapsed.
“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” (NIV)
The assurance that I was going to make it through was tangible, and I clung to that promise over the next excruciating months. I made a vow to the Lord that I would take Him at those words: The pain of my sifting and suffering would not be pointless.
Recently, I got to experience my first Rescue Academy class. The theme of the course is that we are all deputized as rescuers and that each one of us has an area of our life that is referred to as our “unfair advantage.” And what is that advantage? You guessed it. That trauma and debilitating heartbreak. The most hurtful, broken, wounded and despairing part of us. The deep grief born of unspeakable loss. The messes that we want to bury deep in the back of the closet: Messy relationships, messy addictions, messy expectations, messy finances, messy anger, messy grief, messy illness – and plain old messes. Just as Jesus promised Peter, the Rock on which He built His church, God uses us regardless of the hot mess that we are.
There is a distinct advantage to experiencing trauma and debilitating heartbreak. After doing so, it is much easier to weep with those who weep.
“Rejoice with those who rejoice [sharing others’ joy], and weep with those who weep [sharing others’ grief].” – Romans 2:12 Amplified Version
Now is a particularly valuable time to harness the power of our own personal mess and practice radical, Christ-like empathy. We are facing a unique opportunity. The pandemic and its ensuing fallout have created layers upon layers of grief and loss in people’s lives. Regardless of who and what and where you are, we all have something in common. We’ve experienced some sort of loss over the last year. Whether it be loss of a loved one, the loss of a career, the loss of a home, the loss of a job or just the loss of gathering with friends and family, people around the world have lost the way we share life together. Empathy is climbing into somebody else’s mess. It can be to come alongside a person and put a shoulder under that thing that is weighing them down, shared Willowdale’s senior pastor, Greg Lafferty.
Jesus told His soon-to-be apostles in Luke 5 to push their boat out into deeper water. Much the same way, we are called to wade into the maelstrom of human existence.
Let’s take our messy “unfair advantages” that Jesus has made beautiful and swim out to save others.
Lead with love, and God will give purpose to the pointless.
Note: Here is a fantastic animated Brené Brown video about empathy. CLICK HERE. The video perfectly describes the difference between empathy and sympathy, and it gives us a chance to laugh at ourselves; something that is important to be able to do!
ABOUT OUR BLOGGER
Sarah Flowers lives in idyllic Chadds Ford, where she is steeped in beauty and connection to the land and its history. She loves coffee and flowers and getting to know Jesus. A lifelong learner, she seeks to follow God’s plan to bring justice to the under-resourced. Sarah is a self-declared serial optimist and melodiphile; there’s always a path to the sunny side and a soundtrack for the journey! She is a mom and wife and a grateful alumna of Northwood University. Her former iterations include automotive professional and shoe diva.
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