What if I want to be a better person?

I keep expecting to wake up a different person.  As if by some instant divine transference I’ll be a better woman: I won’t be too forceful. I will no longer be impatient with people when they don’t understand what I’m trying to say. I’d no longer be angry when they make stupid decisions, especially after I gave them sound advice. I would no longer feel like I need to justify everything to everyone all the time! What a beautiful fantasy!

I’ve tried to change …Scout’s Honor!  If the amount of berating myself to be a better person could be exchanged for cheesesteaks, I’d be able to feed all of Citizens Bank Park at last year’s game three of the World Series.

Cheesesteak fantasies aside, I have it on good authority from my husband and some close friends that some parts of me have changed for the better. Being discipled through consistent church attendance, Bible study, Spirit-filled Christian friends and finding spiritual mentors have helped, but a significant contribution has been my hunger for Scripture. Most days since 2016,  I’ve read some portion of the Bible. It has ranged from receiving a verse of the day notification on my smartphone to reading through the Bible chronologically in a year.  

It is intriguing that our very soul needs nourishment as much as our physical body, and that these two are inextricably entwined. Prior to my regular Bible reading, I was spiritually hungry all the time. Of course, I was too thick headed to realize just how much my deficiency was affecting my behavior. Making poor decisions due to my lack of Biblical food, my cognitive ability was not optimal and I lashed out at people because I was “hangry.” Once I started reading more, my attitudes and behaviors did improve. Spend much time thinking about physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional issues, and it truly becomes apparent that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, with all our parts working together in concert.

In Psalm 119, David declared, 

“How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” V.‭103‬

“I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.”  V.11

In Luke 4:4 Jesus quoted the Scripture, 

“It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone.’”

In Luke 6:45 Jesus said that 

out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.” 

And the apostle Paul in ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭2‬:‭13‬ ‭

“It is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.”

My Bible reading has changed who I am. Not overnight, but more the Eugene Peterson definition: A Long Obedience in the Same Direction. Although I still hurt people, (especially those I love the most) and am constantly running up against the brick walls of my spiritual nearsightedness, I am a better person today than I was six years ago.

God works through His word constantly. He promises that His Word will go out and it will not return void. It does not return void as the gospel message of Christ to the world, and it does not return void when it is preached to our inmost beings. When we read God‘s Word, we are immersing ourselves in every promise He has ever made, and into the story of who we are as a child of the Most High King. Scripture, the inspired word of God, tells us the story of a faithful God in the face of a faithless people. Its description of the atoning sacrifice of Jesus and the restoration that He has in store for us can change us from the inside out. Almost without us even realizing that it’s happening.  Perhaps we’ll wake up one morning and realize…we ARE becoming a better person. 

I would be utterly remiss in writing this blog about discipleship and Scripture reading if I did not mention the outsized role that Momma Pat Bentzel played in all this. I met her because you just do meet a firecracker like her when you’ve been hanging around Willowdale Chapel long enough. Her frank guidance and deep love sustained me through some difficult work I had to do on myself. Her constant encouragement of my marriage, motherhood and kingdom work was life-giving. She was the grateful recipient of my verse texts and often sent a text back to encourage me. I know she prayed hard for me, because I feel the loss of that, too as she moved on to Heaven.

Thank you God for her life, which was poured out as a drink offering to you. Read Pat's obituary here.

“As for me, my life has already been poured out as an offering to God. The time of my death is near. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful.”

‭‭2 Timothy‬ ‭4‬:‭6‬-‭7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Some helpful ideas: 

You can set a Bible reading goal or just start reading, even a little bit at a time. If you don’t have the YouVersion app on your smartphone, I highly recommend it. It works well because I have my phone in my hand WAY too much. It is easy to pick it up to do my Bible reading. You can set up notifications and have the daily verses come to you automatically.  You can link up with a friend to do a devotional together on which you can both comment. I would not have read nearly as much scripture if it weren’t for the app. I’m grateful to the folks at Life.Church for their obedience in developing it.


ABOUT OUR BLOGGER

Sarah Flowers lives in idyllic Chadds Ford, where she is steeped in beauty and connection to the land and its history. She loves coffee and flowers and getting to know Jesus. A lifelong learner, she seeks to follow God’s plan to bring justice to the under-resourced. Sarah is a self-declared serial optimist and melodiphile; there’s always a path to the sunny side and a soundtrack for the journey!

She is a mom and wife and a grateful alumna of Northwood University. Her former iterations include automotive professional and shoe diva. Sarah serves on the Deacon Team at Willowdale Chapel.


IF:2023 is a two-day event where women all over the world gather together, get equipped, and discover the next step in their calling: to go and make disciples. This year’s theme is "Let's Watch God Move." For two days we get to gather and remind each other that God is who we need. God is who will provide. We gather for two days of worship, with our Bibles, and we ask God to move. 

The IF Gathering will take place at the Kennett Campus on March 3 from 6:30 pm. to 10:30 p.m. and March 4 from 9:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. For more information and to register CLICK HERE   Deadline to register is Sunday, February 26.

Any questions?  Contact Carole Hoy choy@willowdalechapel.org