One of the worst moments of my life happened the year after my husband and I were married. Most of his family were gathered at his parents’ home that summer day. I was about to plug in a floor fan when our almost two-year-old nephew started running towards it. Fearful that he might get his fingers in the fan, I stopped and stood up to make sure he wouldn’t touch it. As I stood up, my head bashed into my mother-in-law’s teacup shelf. Eighteen cup and saucer sets came crashing down around me. The sound was horrifying. My nephew started crying. The family dog darted for cover. Shock registered on every face.
The sick feeling deep in my stomach was awful. My mother-in-law came to my side and was immediately gracious and forgiving, acknowledging it was an accident. But these were family heirlooms, irreplaceable, several over a hundred years old from her grandmother. I could not imagine how I would ever live this down.
We lamely picked up the pieces and placed them in a paper bag. I hoped to repair as many as I could just so she would have something to display. Recently our pastor mentioned the Japanese art of kintsugi, which takes broken pottery and mends it with gold, creating a new thing of beauty. My effort was never designed to create something beautiful but to relieve some of my guilt. It took months, but many of the cups were patched back together. Over the years they were replaced with new teacups.
My mother-in-law never brought up my enormous mistake. There was not one moment where I was made to feel like the proverbial bull in a china shop. Her compassion freed me from the guilt I felt. I have come to realize I never needed to glue those cups back together. She embodied the wisdom of God’s Word that is found in Colossians 3:12-13, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Maybe the cup of kindness I received from my mother-in-law paved the way for me to be able to embrace the concept of sharing tea. The Christmas Tea, an outreach event held for women at Willowdale Chapel in the past, had a great part in inspiring this passion. Since the first Willowdale Tea, I have had the privilege of hosting teas or bringing entire tea parties to churches, schools and nursing homes. Tea for twenty or more, and of course, tea for two.
Now that it is January, it is a good time to think about having a friend in for tea, coffee, hot cocoa or just cookies. If you are like me, you might pull out a nice plate and teacups to make it more festive. Why not use the good stuff? But funky mugs will do.
In Sweden they practice fika, which is their coffee break. Traditionally Swedes don’t grab a cup of coffee and go. They sit down and take time to really enjoy it, to invest in the moment.
I confess that one-on-one I am too eager to share my stories, and a bit neglectful of other’s stories or concerns. So I am making it a goal to be a better listener and to welcome others’ stories, but more importantly, to give space for them to share something more from the heart. So many of us desire to be heard, but we don’t invest the time to provide for that kind of moment. I encourage you to be intentional with a neighbor or friend, your spouse or other family member. Keep a bag of specialty cookies on hand, or better yet, freeze some of your own. Then if the moment presents itself, instant fika… I mean instant opportunity to ask someone over. If you are far away from that person, invite them to enjoy a cup of tea over the phone and listen well.
Often Willowdale bloggers have written about taking a moment for oneself with a nice cup of tea. Make the most of such moments. Sit down with something that warms you up and take the opportunity to meditate on what warms your soul. Reflect on God’s blessings and His Word. Listen for His leading. Give Him your full attention free from distractions and try to develop a listening heart. David reminds us in Psalm 19, “May these words, and this meditation of my heart, be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”
My terrible moment has been redeemed. First, by a loving mother-in-law…who still shows her love to me.
Secondly, by this chance to share the story of some shattered teacups, and how that pain has been replaced by a love for sitting around a table, with just the right someone, offering a cup of kindness.
ABOUT OUR BLOGGER
Linnea Tideman has always enjoyed sharing stories. Her childhood in New Hampshire and her Swedish heritage have provided her with a wealth of experiences, but also the foundation of her faith. She enjoys creative projects, travel, books, sewing, gardening, but most of all hospitality, often hosting fancy teas and occasionally something grand like recreating dinner on the Titanic. She serves the UrbanPromise and Good Neighbors ministries. Linnea lives in Landenberg with her husband Dave. They have three grown daughters. She hopes that her writing reflects how God continues to reveal Himself to us as our shepherd and Savior.