I have a sweet memory of one of my toddlers waddling over to me, putting their hands up and saying, “Hold you.” This melted my heart as I willingly bent over to pick him up. If my 3-year-old granddaughter is trying to pick up a suitcase that weighs more than she does and she turns to me and says, “Help me,” it puts a smile on my face. She doesn’t really want my help, she needs me to do it. It is beyond her capabilities. She will be little or no help in accomplishing this task and depending on what we are trying to do, she may actually be a hindrance. So “help me” from her sweet little blonde-haired self is endearing; I’m not sure God sees my “help me” from my (dyed) brown-haired self as equally endearing.
I have recently become keenly aware of this notion of God helping us.
This came to mind when a friend was using the term “God’s enablement.” At first, I thought, “Well that’s awkward. Who talks like that?” But then I gave it more reflection. Why choose the phrase “God enable us” instead of “God help us”?
“God help me.” Are we asking God to step up and pitch in while we work or are we asking Him to take charge? Is He secondary or the lead?
I found myself noticing how often I use the word “help” in my prayers. When I broke it down I realized that I was asking God to come alongside me instead of me cooperating with what He is doing. I realized I was doing my thing and asking Him to join in. It was the “Who’s driving and who’s the co-pilot question”!
For example:
“God, help me to talk to my friend about Jesus.” (Read that: “Jump in and assist me with what I am already doing. I have a plan of when and what to say and, God, you should join in.”)
Compare that to:
“Lord enable me.” (Read that: “God it’s all you. Use me.”) It’s a matter of surrendering to God’s plan and allowing Him to work, not working in my own power with a splash of Him.
Or consider these examples:
“Help us to find a house.” “Help my son to get into the college he wants.”
(Read that: These are my plans, please make them happen.)
Do we think this sounds less demanding? Are we afraid to say:
“God you know everything, show us where you want us to live. Enable us to find a place.” “Enable my son to accept your plans for him about college.”
According to Merriam-Webster:
Help: Verb; to give assistance or support to (someone): to provide (someone) with something that is useful or necessary in achieving an end
Enable: Verb; to provide with the means or opportunity; to make possible, practical, or easy; to cause to operate
I’ve been thinking that perhaps I have had this all wrong. Is God giving me assistance? I don’t want Him to be my co-leader, co-pilot or helper, I want Him to take the lead. I don’t want the end he is assisting me with to be my end, I want it to be His end, His plan.
I was on a retreat recently where I had the opportunity to spend some time with Psalm 23. I was really struck by the action words in that Psalm. The Good Shepherd isn’t “helping” anyone, He is making me lie down, leading, guiding, restoring. He makes it possible to walk through the valley of the shadow of death. He sets a table for me in the presence of my enemies. God is not an assistant. He is in control.
Now to be clear, the Bible does use the term “God help me” a few times especially in the Psalms where someone is crying out to God, but it is far fewer times than I thought. The Bible also calls God and the Holy Spirit our helper, so it’s not wrong to ask for help, but I think it’s worth considering what we are actually asking.
For me, going forward, I hope to say, “God enable me to do this hard thing.” This is a nod to his power. He is the One who created the world and calmed the storm with a word, and He is the One who makes things happen. Not me. It is not my plan, but His that matters. I don’t need a boost of my power because it is not mine, but His, on which I am calling. You might say it’s just semantics, but I think it’s a heart posture. It’s surrendering ourselves, admitting our powerlessness and acknowledging He is the power.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9
ABOUT THE BLOGGER:
Bonnie Kotler and her husband Mitch have two daughters, three sons, eleven grandchildren and three grand-puppies. She was a stay-at-home mom for many years before re-entering the workforce after receiving her M.S. in Counseling and Human Relations from Villanova University. She is a licensed professional counselor at her own private practice, True North Counseling. Bonnie has been on the Willowdale women’s ministry teaching team since 2012. Bible studies have played a key role in her walk as a believer, and in turn, she loves to help other women find their peace with God and grow in their faith. She enjoys writing Bible study materials, reading fiction, spending time with family and doing anything in the sunshine. Bonnie loves to laugh and considers laughter as the best medicine. Psalm 126:2