I had the pleasure of meeting Susan about seven years ago during Bible study. Our group grew close quickly as we studied Ephesians and Philippians together. It didn’t take long for our friendship to be cemented and for us to share deeper about our lives. Somewhere during those first years of Bible study together, Susan began to open up about her mental health. Her courage and boldness while recounting her journey with bipolar disorder inspired me. Her main focus was always to showcase how Jesus had shown up for her throughout every phase of her story. Her genuineness and love for the Lord was always evident. So, it came as no surprise to us at all, when the Lord decided to use Susan and her story for His glory! She was provided the opportunity at work to help break the stigma that surrounds mental health by sharing the details of her diagnosis and describing what it looks like to live with bipolar disorder at a public event.
Last week Bonnie Kotler’s blog post touched on how the stigma surrounding mental health prevents people from receiving timely treatment during their struggle. As a marriage and family therapist, it is not uncommon for me to sit with clients who acknowledge they suffered in silence for far too long before reaching out for help, because they didn’t want others to know. To further breakdown any fears, awkwardness or misinformation surrounding mental health, Susan and I teamed up to share some of her story.
Melanie: How long have you been living with bipolar disorder? Can you share the details of when you were diagnosed?
Susan: I was diagnosed at 17, my senior year of high school. Despite my pleas for help and there being a family history of bipolar disorder, my family was in denial that something was wrong. After some acute episodes of both mania and depression, I received therapeutic support from a team of doctors and therapists. A few close friends embraced the journey with me and supported me during a very challenging time of my life. When I wasn’t sure what was going on, I never defined it by the words “mental illness” or for me “bipolar disorder,” but I knew something was off.
Melanie: How has medicine benefited you in this journey? Were you ever skeptical or did not want to take it?
Susan: Medicine has been an anchor in caring for my health. I’m committed to staying consistent in taking medicine because I never wanted to risk my mental health or live in such a way that I couldn’t care for my children. It has always been a regime in my daily routine. My philosophy has always been that God created these brilliant scientists to create something so specific to help me, just like medicines are available for other medical needs, so why wouldn’t I take it?
Melanie: What advice would give to someone who is struggling with mental health, but is apprehensive to seek treatment?
Susan: You are seen. You are worth it. This is a different medical condition than some may be used to, it is still something that requires support and is not something you should be ashamed of or feel like you need to pray your way out of. Jesus and my church community have been pillars in developing peace, dealing with anxiety and giving over all my fears. But I also needed the doctors and therapists to assist me to make sense of my struggles.
Melanie: What do you know about Jesus that I don’t, as a result of your diagnosis? Or what do you know about Jesus now that you couldn’t have known before your diagnosis?
Susan: Since my diagnosis, I have heavily relied on scripture memorization, prayer and meditation during my difficult times. Through His word, I felt the Holy Spirit reveal His faithfulness despite what I was going through. No one suffered as brutally as our Savior when He died for our sins and I felt His love and covering, since He knows and understands suffering like no one else. I also feel that since I have come through some hard times with bipolar disorder and am stable, He allows me to empathize with others in similar situations. I am grateful to walk alongside them sharing how good He is, even when we do not feel it. God’s love is like a balm to the soul, and I would not change my condition because I know Him as I do in light of it.
As Susan and I talked more, we reflected on the importance of support, awareness and honesty as individuals and families navigate mental health. As we try to figure out next steps, either directly or indirectly, blind spots manifest in ways we cannot predict. What can be so obvious to see in other people’s circumstances is impossible for us to identify on our own. As Susan shared, the first and most important step in this process can often be the hardest. Acknowledging the need for outside help can be daunting, but 100 percent worth it. If you yourself are struggling for answers, please ask for help. Seek out someone you trust and share as much as you can. If you suspect that someone you love is struggling, remember Susan’s words -- she needed to be seen, known and loved. If you are not sure where to start, start there. Ask questions, listen to the answers, then shower your loved one with encouragement through each next step.
I smile now thinking of Susan and me meeting in the midst of me taking classes to complete my schooling for marriage and family therapy and Susan feeling led to speak up about bipolar disorder to help others. As I listened to her story again, what stands out today -- just as it did the first time she shared it -- is her faith that led her through some of her darkest days. Though our stories and circumstances are different, we have both learned the power of faith first hand. I turn to Isaiah 41:10 often for direction and encouragement as I navigate life. Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand (NLT). I pray that as you read those words you feel His strength and trust that He is with you, ready to help, ready to guide.
ABOUT OUR BLOGGERS
Susan Veenema
Susan Veenema has been in education for almost 20 years supporting children with disabilities and their families and currently works for the Department of Education.
Susan and her husband, Jeremy, love exploring Chester County with their two older biological daughters and three foster children. People are her passion.
Melanie Wilson
An eternal optimist, Melanie Wilson is on board for anything that involves books, sunflowers, coffee, the WVU Mountaineers, Bible Study and laughter.
She recently obtained a Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and pinches herself every day that her passion is now her profession. Melanie and her husband, Jim, love their front row seats cheering on their daughter, spending time with family and friends and binge-watching football on crisp fall weekends.
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