Moving from Awareness to Care

It seems every time we turn around there is an “awareness” day or month. It is difficult to keep up and many of us don’t try. We can’t acknowledge everything so we just give up any effort. I think many of us fear that if we are aware of something we will be required to do something about it, so we just turn a blind eye. May is Mental Health Awareness Month. I encourage you to take this month’s call to awareness seriously because it affects millions of our friends, neighbors, co-workers and family members. 

As Christians, we are called to love one another. We are called to be the hands, feet, eyes and ears of Jesus on earth.  We have to SEE people because Jesus SAW people. He saw the shamed woman at the well, the shunned Zacchaeus in the tree and grieving Mary at the tomb. He noticed those around him. Awareness helps us to notice people. Galatians 6:2 says, “Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” It is difficult to do this if we are unaware of what someone else is going through. 

Mental illnesses, especially anxiety and depression, have not always been handled by the Christian community in a loving non-judgmental way. Sometimes well-meaning Christians will suggest that if one has enough faith in God, these things will disappear. It is true that God can heal all things and that faith in him can sometimes alleviate one’s depression or anxiety, but it is also true that sometimes it is not a faith issue. We don’t tell someone with high blood pressure or diabetes to just have faith. We encourage them to seek the proper medical interventions. Mental illness is the same. 

Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of; it is a health condition that affects how you think, feel or behave and that affects your home, work or social life.  Mental illness is treatable and most people continue to function in their daily life in spite of it. Each year millions of Americans face mental illness. 

I am going to borrow from NAMI’s (National Alliance on Mental Illness) three-prong approach to this month. Together the three prongs have something for everyone; they speak to those who aren’t suffering with mental illness, those who are and then those who want to maintain mental health. 

The first factor to consider is the healing value of connecting with others. We have an obligation to acknowledge that people struggle with mental illness. Probably the hardest thing in dealing with someone suffering is that often the signs and symptoms are masked. 

Take depression, for example. What we may translate as laziness or a lack of motivation could in fact be depression. People who are depressed often withdraw. 

Don’t be afraid to ask the question: “Are you depressed?” Don’t worry about how you say it, just be authentic.  Lean in when your friend is hurting. Telling someone you care and that you are there for them is crucial. Many of my clients say they just wish someone would ask them how they can help. There is not one right way to serve them, and there is little you can actually do to “heal” their depression but being present and acknowledging their pain is a great first step. Proverbs 12:25 says “Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.”

The other day I was talking with a friend who was expressing concern over his friend who was very depressed. I asked if he had recommended his friend to a therapist, and he said he hadn’t thought of that. You don’t have to try to fix it yourself, just show you care. Just begin the conversation. Refer your friend for professional help if it feels beyond your scope.

The second prong is for those who are suffering. You have to acknowledge to yourself and others that it’s okay to not be okay. If you are struggling with mental illness, it is both your choice and responsibility to speak up. Don’t assume your loved ones can read your mind. Decide whom you can trust and tell them. Just opening up to someone can reduce your stress level and improve your mood. Tell your friends and family that your inside doesn’t always match up with your outside -- what someone sees may not be what you feel. Be vulnerable, trust your loved ones to love you back. Explain as best you can what you experience. This article is a helpful tool. 

The third thing to think about in Mental Health Awareness month is how to prioritize your own mental health. Living in a perpetual state of stress is not healthy for anyone. Do you set boundaries around work and home? Do you take time for yourself? Do you take mental breaks? Have you tried adding some fun into your life, journaling, meditating, etc.? Research suggests that something as simple as a gratitude journal can really help. It helps to rewire your brain to think more positively.  If you are consistently struggling with anxiety or depression, perhaps you should consider whether you need to talk to a professional? 

We need a Mental Health Awareness month to draw attention to the fact that mental illness exists. With increased knowledge and understanding, we can remove the stigma. NAMI has declared the slogan for 2021’s Mental Health Awareness Month to be: “You are not alone.” This is  consistent with our worldview as Christians. We believe we are all part of one body.  We are called to love God and love others.  Choosing to be unaware of the plight of others is not an option.

More importantly, remember that God sees you in your pain. Psalm 34:18: The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

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ABOUT OUR BLOGGER 

Bonnie Kotler is a licensed professional counselor at The Peacemaker Center and has her own private practice, True North Counseling Services. She works with adolescent and adult clients with a wide variety of mental health issues to help them see God make ‘beauty out of ashes.” Isaiah 61:3. Bonnie and her husband, Mitch, have two daughters, three sons, five grandchildren, a 125-pound mastiff and three grand-puppies.

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