The current sermon series on The Wisdom of Friendship at Willowdale Chapel has caused me to pause and reflect on my own friendships, how I made the friends I have, and how they love me well.
Friendships haven’t always been easy for me. In high school I really struggled with not fitting in and not having close friends. I had low self-esteem and was so self-conscious. The harder I tried to get others to like me, the more I pushed them away. It was painful and there were many tearful drives to school as I contemplated another day of feeling insecure amidst my peers, wanting nothing more than to belong. I wondered if I would ever make friends or be accepted for who I was.
Then I went to college and God was so good to me. I met some of my best friends -- lifelong buddies. I grew in self-confidence and was able to be myself. I worked through some of my insecurities, and as I found people who accepted me for who God made me to be, I started to accept myself. I was able to be more authentic and vulnerable in my relationships and this led to deeper friendships.
Years later when I moved to Pennsylvania, God blessed me with more community and great relationships. I have formed some deep friendships from my travels overseas as well. If you would have told 16-year-old me that would be the case, I wouldn’t have believed you. But God provided.
Which brings us to the present day. To be honest, these last few months have been a really difficult time of grief and struggle for me. But my friends have been there for me. It’s been amazing. Some send flowers, cards or gift cards. Some invite me for dinner. Some text and call. Many are praying for me and some pray with me. There are invitations to a movie or for coffee or honestly just anything to get me out of my apartment. Friends near and far have found creative ways to help me feel seen, loved and supported.
And it all makes a difference. It all matters.
Sometimes when a friend is going through a hard time, and we don’t know what to do or say we back away instead of leaning in. Let me tell you a secret: I don’t know what to do or say either, so don’t let that hinder you.
The first part of Proverbs 17:17 says “A friend loves at all times…” Not just when it’s easy, fun or convenient, but when it’s messy and uncomfortable and there might be tears and snot (bring tissues with you!).
So, here’s my exhortation: Do something for a friend when they’re hurting. Reach out. Send the card. Make the ask to hang out. The other person might not respond or acknowledge your encouragement and support, but trust me, they feel it and it helps. If there’s one thing that I’ve learned from all of this, it’s to just show up. Be consistent. Be persistent. I have several friends who will text or call and not let me get away with vague answers. They aren’t being nosy. They just pursue a deeper, more truthful response. And I need that. I also need to not think about dinner sometimes, so those invites are great. I need to laugh, so watching a funny movie or mindless sitcom can really be the perfect thing.
I am so grateful for the community God has given me. I hope and pray that I am as good of a friend to others as they have been to me.
In conclusion, I challenge you. Right now, pray about someone who you can encourage today. Now go do something. Hebrews 13:13 says to “encourage one another daily.” Let’s do that!
May we be a witness to the world around us in how we love each other and value our friendships – at all times.
ABOUT OUR BLOGGER
Danielle (Dani) Rupp grew up in a small town in Ohio and is a true Buckeye fan, though she tries not to be obnoxious about it. In 2011 she came to PA to earn her Master of Social Work degree. After graduation Dani accepted a position as a mental health therapist for children and adolescents in Coatesville. She was a nanny for several years as well. During that time she lived in Kennett Square and attended Willowdale Chapel. She returned several years ago from South Asia where she learned to tolerate spicy food and cross the roads without being hit, as well as volunteered with International Justice Mission in their Aftercare Department. In her free time, Dani enjoys going on mission trips/traveling, running, reading, and connecting with loved ones—preferably over coffee and a sweet treat.
IF:2023 is a two-day event where women all over the world gather together, get equipped, and discover the next step in their calling: to go and make disciples. This year’s theme is "Let's Watch God Move." For two days we get to gather and remind each other that God is who we need. God is who will provide. We gather for two days of worship, with our Bibles, and we ask God to move.
The IF Gathering will take place at the Kennett Campus on March 3 from 6:30 pm. to 10:30 p.m. and March 4 from 9:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. For more information and to register CLICK HERE Deadline to register is Sunday, February 24.
Any questions? Contact Carole Hoy choy@willowdalechapel.org