When we walked through the door at Willowdale Chapel 20 years ago, we were desperately needing a church home. We had just experienced a difficult six months. We had moved to Pennsylvania excited for this new chapter in our lives, but many of our expectations came crashing down. My mom died after a brief illness one month after our move. Two months after that, my mother-in-law developed symptoms of Alzheimers and had to be in a nursing home. It was what our pastor recently described as a “lifequake.” We had no family in the immediate area, and as a stay-at-home-mom, I felt unseen and unknown. I have never been more adrift.
Fortunately, a mom from our girls’ school recognized my grief, my need for friendship and invited me to the Bible study she attended. She was a lifeline.
Then, that first Sunday visiting Willowdale Chapel, people paid attention to us. We kept coming back. Before long two couples invited us to their homes. Their hospitality made the difference; we felt accepted. We had our church home and friendships followed. As the years passed, I felt compelled to extend hospitality to others who were the newbies.
My parents had been good examples of having people over for Sunday dinner. Our guests were mostly strangers to me, but who were visiting our church as speakers and missionaries. My mom’s meals were simple: a roast, mashed potatoes, frozen vegetables and pound cake. We never focused on decor or presentation in our house. Cleaning was a scramble to hide stuff. But we always had an amazing time with our guests. I don’t remember that it ever seemed like a struggle. For our family who never traveled much, it also brought the world to our door.
Some of my first attempts to test my hospitality skills as an adult were memorable but not in a good way. When I first invited my future husband over for dinner, I made the old tried and true chicken and rice casserole, but thought I was very clever to add tater tots as a creative embellishment. I still get kidded about that effort to win him with my cooking. When we had my husband’s boss and his wife over for dinner, I had improved my menu. I served chicken cordon bleu. Sadly, I didn’t remove all the toothpicks from the nicely rolled chicken and the wife bit down hard on one which stabbed the roof of her mouth, nearly launching her out of her chair.
Still, we kept on trying, learning little by little.
I have two friends who excel in hospitality. One couple invited us to their home soon after we arrived in Pennsylvania. Their hospitality is an art form. Every detail is thought out well in advance and the meal is perfect. She learned it from her mom, who provided a great example of having a welcoming home and a nice meal to offer guests. The other friend arrived on our doorstep with fresh baked cookies the day we moved in. She and her husband embraced opportunities to provide hospitality and learned as they went. This couple, now in their 80s, are still providing gracious hospitality. In order to focus on the guests, she makes much of the meal ahead. These women both love to offer hospitality, gaining the pleasure of showing care to others as they give.
We are told in God’s Word to practice hospitality. The Greek word for hospitality is philoxenia, literally meaning “a friend to strangers.” Jesus not only provided meals for his followers but also expected to be invited in by people He met. He also revealed that when we serve others by providing food, drink, clothing or shelter, we are really doing it for Him. Sisters Mary and Martha, two friends of Jesus, were noted for hospitality. Martha focused on details; Mary focused on the guests. We need Martha’s hands for service and Mary’s heart for people to practice hospitality well.
Hospitality can be providing a place to stay, a meal, a listening ear, or acceptance. Isn't acceptance the essence of hospitality and relationship building? It is wonderful to make connections around your neighborhood or in church, but it is hard to have the fullest conversations in these settings. That's why sitting down together by offering hospitality is a better way to build relationships.
I reached out to Lili Daza who is part of Willowdale en Español and one of our blog translators, to hear from her perspective. When she came to the U.S. for her job, it took a year before she felt welcomed and appreciated. She sees hospitality as “welcoming, sheltering, and feeding – with no thought of personal gain – those who come to your door… sharing what we have and who we are.” She feels that hospitality allows her “to enter dialogue with others from different cultural, racial, socioeconomic, and religious backgrounds.” She sees it as an opportunity to let “the sunshine of the light of God’s Son” shine from her heart.
Start with an invitation. It doesn't have to be a major event. If necessary, start small–coffee somewhere or a bite at a casual lunch place. Join with a friend to put on a meal together. It might be as simple as sending a card or delivering cookies to new neighbors.There are countless resources to fuel your efforts in providing hospitality. No excellence required, just care and attention.
A final question to consider is who in your church or in your neighborhood might be on the margins? Be intentional to include these people. The hospitality my parents provided didn’t often yield friendships but our lives were enriched. The hospitality you give shows your love and care for others. They may become good friends, they may not. But you will both be blessed by the experience. You may also be the lifeline someone needs.
ABOUT OUR BLOGGER
Linnea Tideman has always enjoyed sharing stories. Her childhood in New Hampshire and her Swedish heritage have provided her with a wealth of experiences, but also the foundation of her faith. She enjoys creative projects, travel, books, sewing, gardening, but most of all hospitality, often hosting fancy teas and occasionally something grand like recreating dinner on the Titanic. She serves the UrbanPromise and Good Neighbors ministries. Linnea lives in Landenberg with her husband Dave. They have three grown daughters. She hopes that her writing reflects how God continues to reveal Himself to us as our shepherd and Savior.
Room at the Table, Women's Brunch
Please join us on Sunday, August 27 at both of our campuses for a women's brunch to kick off our Fall 2023 groups. You will have the opportunity to explore the various groups offered for women this fall, meet leaders and women in our various groups, and ask questions and learn about ways to connect. Registration is now open.
JENNERSVILLE CAMPUS
10:30 a.m. - 12:00 p.m. REGISTRATION
KENNETT CAMPUS
11:45 a.m. - 1:15 p.m. REGISTRATION